The Raw Data

[Chorus] I am the walking stat The collateral on the welcome mat I'm not a victim, I'm a fact A simple box to check, and that is that [Verse 1] I taught you the game I whispered your name I carried your flame [Verse 2] I watched you improve I saw you make your move I had nothing to prove [Verse 3] I was the mentor The one who opened the door The one you came back for [Bridge] And then the email dropped, at nine o'clock today, a single sentence that just blew my world away I saw your name in bold, and mine in the line below, "thanked for his service, now it's time for him to go" I looked at you, your eyes were wet, and I just smiled and said, "This is the proudest I have ever been, I guess." [Chorus] [Verse 4] The farewell party They say "don't take it hardly" My smile is tardy [Verse 5] They talk of "progress" Of fixing up this "mess" I'm supposed to say yes [Verse 6] This isn't your crime You just knew how to climb It was just your time [Bridge] I pack my life inside a cardboard box, the photos, files, the ticking of the clocks And I see my skill, my work, my every deed, was just a variable in their diversity creed I'm not a man they're letting go, I'm just a space they had to grow. [Chorus] [Verse 7] You take my old chair A breath of fresh air A win for the fair [Verse 8] I'm leaving the key No animosity Just tired of being me [Verse 9] I'm not a misogynist I'm just the plot twist The name they dismissed [Bridge] I don't blame you, it would be too easy to put a human face on this long, cold misery My only foe is an Excel sheet, a corporate policy, discreet and neat They didn't promote a woman, they just erased a man, to make the company photo fit the brand new plan. [Chorus] I am the walking stat. The collateral on the welcome mat. I'm not a victim, I'm a fact. The simple box to check... that finally cracked.

[Chorus] I am the Alibi Queen The perfect corporate scene Their gender-based vaccine My victory feels unclean [Verse 1] The silence in the room My triumph is my tomb The death of our perfume [Verse 2] Your forced "congratulations" A quiet assassination Of our shared conversations [Verse 3] I walk the hallway now They give a little bow They all know how [Bridge] I saw the pride flicker in your eyes, Just for a second, before you analyzed You didn't see your friend, your ally, your protégé, You saw the statistic that just got in your way And in that silence, i knew my brand new throne Was just a gilded cage where i would weep alone. [Chorus] [Verse 4] I have to be the best Put my whole soul to the test I can never rest [Verse 5] If I scream, I'm a bitch If I yield, there's a hitch They're waiting for the switch [Verse 6] I have to prove my worth For all the women on earth Since my own damn birth [Bridge] They gave me this job like you'd throw a dog a bone, To appease the mob, to fix their broken tone I'm the good soldier in a war of pr, The living proof of how progressive they now are But every single night i have to ask: Was it my talent, or was i just cast? [Chorus] [Verse 7] I sign your final pay I watch you walk away What am I supposed to say? [Verse 8] I am their perfect shield The progress they now wield My spirit is concealed [Verse 9] You think that I have won You think your time is done We were both outrun [Bridge] This system didn't free me, it just found a better way To use me, more clever, day by day I became a symbol, a poster on the wall, While you became the collateral for their grand fall They put us both against each other, it's their greatest art, And we both lost the only thing that mattered from the start. [Chorus] I am the Alibi Queen. The proof that they have been... Just a lying machine. My victory is obscene.

[Chorus] Every word's a wire One wrong move, a backfire I'm the minesweeper My fear is getting deeper I am my own keeper [Verse 1] I pull out your chair A clumsy, loaded affair I just sit and stare [Verse 2] My smile is too wide There's nowhere left to hide My true self has died [Verse 3] Your eyes ask a question My mind stops ingestion Pure misdirection [Bridge] You simply ask "So, how was your day at work?" and my whole brain just goes completely berserk If I complain, I'm weak, if I succeed, I'm a cocky bore If I talk too much, I'm a creep, if I say nothing, you'll walk out the door So I just say "It was fine", the safest, emptiest, most pathetic line. [Chorus] [Verse 4] The check is on the table A modern-day fable My mind is unstable [Verse 5] If I pay, I'm a "patriarch" If we split, I've missed the mark A lonely, cheap shark [Verse 6] I let you decide My own wants have to hide I've lost all my pride [Bridge] I'm not really listening, I'm just trying to read the signs, to navigate these new and undefined lines I'm trying to be the perfect man you're supposed to be, not a predator, not fragile, just completely... empty But the system's bugged, the real me is gone, and I hate myself for playing along. [Chorus] [Verse 7] I walk you outside The street is a long, slow slide The night is my guide [Verse 8] One step too close? A word too morose? A lethal dose [Verse 9] I say "have a good night" Ten feet from your light In the pouring rain, right? [Bridge] I just wanted to know you, to talk and to laugh, to just be myself, cut the bullshit in half But the world put so many new rules in the game, that playing at all just feels like a goddamn shame I walk home alone, exhausted and sore, not from the date, but from the one-man war. [Chorus] Every word was a wire. One wrong move, a backfire. I'm the minesweeper. My fear's the reaper. And I am my own keeper.

[Chorus] A name, a time, a place A screenshot of his face My GPS is on 'Til all the danger's gone I must carry on [Verse 1] I choose what I wear Not for him, I don't care It's in case I need air [Verse 2] No heels on my feet Just shoes for the street For a hasty retreat [Verse 3] My phone is fully charged My freedom is enlarged My duties discharged [Bridge] My best friend has my live location, and a single code word for this operation A simple word that means "get me out of here now", or "call the cops", or "I'm just breaking down somehow" It's not paranoia, it's just the way we live, the sad inheritance our mothers had to give. [Chorus] [Verse 4] He pulls out my chair Is he kind, or a snare? I weigh and compare [Verse 5] He says I look nice I'm walking on thin ice I hear the advice [Verse 6] My drink in my hand Never leaves my command In this promised land [Bridge] He puts a hand on my arm, a simple, gentle touch, and my whole body tenses, it's a little too much For a second, I see every other guy before, every "simple touch" that led to a locked door I force a smile, I play my quiet part, but a piece of me is ready for a running start. [Chorus] [Verse 7] He offers to pay I say "no way, we're okay" Keep control, that's the way [Verse 8] He'll walk me back, he insists I say "no, I have my mists... of feminism", it twists [Verse 9] I walk home alone To my safety zone To my skin and bone [Bridge] I'm home. I lock the door, I check it twice. The first feeling's not joy, or romance, or spice It is relief. A quiet, hollow "phew". I survived another date. It's nothing new And maybe that's the saddest truth of all, you see, that I put safety far ahead of chemistry. [Chorus] A name. A time. A place. I delete the screenshot of his face. My GPS is off. My final, hollow cough. I've had enough.

[Chorus] Six pm, through the door My first shift is done, but now it's time for more I have to be the Perfect Dad The best damn partner that she's ever had [Verse 1] "Daddy, come play with me!" Of course, my key To misery [Verse 2] I'm building a tower I'm losing my power Hour by hour [Verse 3] The bath, then the story There's no end to my worry My vision is blurry [Bridge] I sat for five more minutes in the car, right in the driveway, to hide my battle scar Just killed the engine, killed the sound, killed the employee on his daily round Just had to breathe, just once or twice, before I put on the mask and tried to be nice. [Chorus] [Verse 4] "So how was your day, dear?" "Fine", I lie, it's clear I can't show my fear [Verse 5] My son starts to cry I have to know why I have to comply [Verse 6] "Your feelings are valid" My own soul is pallid And totally placid [Bridge] We're playing lions on the floor, I give a roar, he laughs so hard, and I just feel like a fraud My mind is on a deadline, on a bill I have to pay, and I'm here but not here, just wasting away I snap a little, he looks scared, the guilt just floods my head, being a good father is a thing I truly dread. [Chorus] [Verse 7] The children are in bed The house is quiet, and dead The words left unsaid [Verse 8] My wife gives me a look From a self-help book My whole body shook [Verse 9] She wants my passion In a modern fashion I'm out of rations [Bridge] I'm on the sofa, the TV is off, and I can feel the weight of every silent scoff I'm not the pillar that they think they see, I'm just a tired man who's barely me I'm a bad employee, a bad husband, a bad dad, and everything I ever wanted just makes me sad. [Chorus] Ten pm, the door is locked for good. My second shift is over, misunderstood. I'm not the Perfect Dad. I'm the best damn partner... that has gone bad.

[Chorus] My brain can never stop From the bottom to the top A hundred thousand things to do My body's calm, but my mind's running through [Verse 1] He's playing with the kids He's flipping off the lids God forbids I relax [Verse 2] I'm smiling, I'm serene A domestic queen A beautiful machine [Verse 3] He says "you should rest now" He doesn't see how The chaos in my brow [Bridge] He says "you look tired, you seem a million miles away", not seeing that my brain is LAX on a busy day Flight 714, the dentist, is cleared for landing now / Flight 302, the grocery list, is taking off somehow And Flight 999, "what's for dinner tomorrow night?", is circling overhead with no solution in sight. [Chorus] [Verse 4] The laundry isn't done The permission slip is one Day late, I have to run [Verse 5] Pay the phone bill The cat has a pill My own iron will [Verse 6] Is starting to rust My deepest, darkest trust Is turning to dust [Bridge] Yesterday, I almost forgot to pack the snacks for the school trip, one moment of distraction, one careless little slip And I felt the panic, the cold and ugly kind, the one that says without you, everything's left behind It isn't power, it's a life sentence, you see, to be the only hard drive for the whole damn family. [Chorus] [Verse 7] At night when we're in bed The silence in my head Is filled with dread instead [Verse 8] He's breathing, fast asleep While I am in the deep And I just want to weep [Verse 9] I plan the coming week So I don't have to speak About how I'm so weak [Bridge] Love isn't flowers, or the presents, or the praise, it's knowing that there's toilet paper for the next three days It's a job that's never over, a clock that never stops, a list of little worries and emotional flops I am the operating system of this entire place, and nobody ever wonders if there's a button to erase. [Chorus] My brain will never stop. From the bottom to the top. A hundred thousand things to do. My body's sleeping, but my mind's screaming through.

[Verse 1] Dad is home. I heard the car stop in the driveway. The engine went quiet, but the door didn't slam. Not right away. He always waits five minutes, in the dark. He says he has to "kill the office" before he opens our door. The office must be a very scary monster. [Chorus] The piano teacher says: "Head straight." Mom says: "Back straight." Dad says: "Above all, don't be late." I am learning my lesson. I am a good soldier. [Verse 2] Mom is home. She asked me to tell her about my day. While I was talking, her eyes were on the countertop. I think they were searching for a crumb to erase. She said "that's nice, my love" but I know she was thinking Of the permission slip and the dentist appointment. Her love is a list of things not to forget. [Chorus] The piano teacher says: "Fingers curved." Mom says: "Mouth curved, for the 'pretty please'." Dad says: "Above all, never make a mistake. Not a single one." I am learning my lesson. I am a good soldier. [Climax] The spotlight is warm. My hands are cold. In the audience, I see their two faces. They're not smiling. They don't look proud. They look... afraid. My little song is the only thing holding them up. And my finger... my finger slips. A single, wrong note. The silence that follows is louder than the music. And in their eyes, I don't see anger. I see... sorrow. As if I'm the one who broke something. [Outro] I understand now. The recital wasn't about the music. It was for them. My job isn't to play. My job is to make their sadness stop being so loud.

[Verse 1] I remember this house when it was just an empty lot. I drew the plans myself. A good kitchen for your meals. A garden for the children. Solid walls to keep the wind out. I gave you the world, my child. A world without torment. We had nothing, you see. We worked without limit, without complaint, So you would never have to know the fear, the hunger, or the grip Of uncertainty. Every brick of your life is a gift from mine. So why that face? Why all this pain? [Chorus] Let me take the children for the weekend, you just need to sleep. You should go on a vacation, take the time to reset and to heal. In my day, we didn't have this word, this 'burnout', this luxury of the mind. We just clenched our teeth, we moved ahead, and we were grateful to be alive. You have everything you need to be happy. It's so simple. You just have to want it. [Bridge] The right marriage. The right neighborhood. The career that makes us all so proud. The perfect children, succeeding at everything, raised without a single shout. The recipe was simple, the blueprint was clear, without a single smudge. A perfect life, a straight, clean line, a masterpiece above all judgment. I gave you the plan. All you had to do was follow the lines I drew. I gave you the answer long before the question ever occurred to you. [Outro] I built your house. I paved your road. I even planted your own sun in the morning sky. I gave you everything. So tell me... Why... ...isn't it enough?