Meaningless Minds

I was there at your birth, the first sound in your ears. I was the first air in your lungs, the first cry from your mouth... I was the shadow of your nights, the things who made you cry. I was all of your fears, the monster under your bed… I was all conflict in your life, the parents you didn't have. I was all your loneliness, the one who took your happiness… I was what you couldn't understand, the first love in your life. I was everything you hated, the body you let die… I was all of your mockery, the kids who kicked your ass. I was all of your tears, the cry who made you want to die... I was the reflect who judged you, the look who disliked you. I was the blade on your arms, the blood who flowed into your bath… I was all the nightmares you had, the bad things you had seen. I was the people who died, the remains of their ghosts… I was the words you wrote, the words you never said. I was what scrambled your head, the aneurysm in your brain… I was all the looks of pity, the girls who laughed at you. I was the darkness in your life, the only peace you had... I was your misery, the first debt in your life. I was all of your troubles, the hard work who broke your life... I was all your good times, the ones you ruined again. I was all this sorrow, the one who trapped you in hell… I was the cage of your life, the walls who kept you there. I was the giver of your sentence, the executioner of your mind… I was all of your past, the hate in all your words. I was your only friend, the only one you had…

I'm the needle in your arm, the one who tells you all, I'm the blood who keeps you warm, the one who takes it all… I'm the voice behind your mind, the choice who makes you fall, 'm the shadow who makes you blind, I'm the silence who seems so cold… I'm your heart who fell apart, the sex who makes you a slave, I'm the one who wrecks your art, the one who digs your grave… I'm the things who haunt your nights, the one you want to fight, I'm the one who breaks your bones, all the bad things you have done… I'm the reflection you don't want to see, I'm the perverted things in your mind, I'm the love you can't find, the exit from your sanity… I'm the blood who flows from you, the smile who dislikes you, I'm the sadness in your eyes, the one who knows your lies… I'm the sound who makes you deaf, the blade who cuts you down, I'm the pleasure of your death, I'm all the girls who let you down… I'm the one who laid your wife, I'm the reason you can't get hard, I'm the one who gives you strife, the words who make you mad… I'm the one who handles the gun, the satisfaction who flees away, I'm the reason you don't listen, I'm the one who changes your way… I'm the disease who makes you sick, I'm the one who plays tricks on you, I'm the regrets from your past, the pain who tries to outlast… I'm all the things who make you cry, the wings who can no longer fly, I'm the torment of your soul, I'm the one who has control… I'm the wounds on your body, your moment of disgrace, I'm the painful scar on your face, the one who gets naughty… I'm the truth you can't tell, I'm the reason you are not well, I'm the reason you can't behave, the only one you have…

I will stay in your mind, forever in your days and nights, I will always speak to you, until you want to die… I will never let you down, forever keep you awake, I will take all that I can, in your destroyed mind… I will watch you decline, losing your borderlines, I will enjoy your pain, let your soul starve again... I will drink all the tears from your eyes, lick all the blood from your wounds, I will look at your arms, while you cut your veins… I will break all your dreams, destroy all that's good in you, I will look at your face, when you punch it with rage… I will make you finally happy, to destroy you more easily, I will give you what you want, just to see you lose everything… I will show you all your fears, to see you cry again, I will forever trap you in hell, to kill the rest of your sanity… I will tell you the whole truth, just to see your heart implode, I will throw you in jail, to let your body grow frail… I will stay on your back, like the shadow of your mind, I will help you to make, only bad choices in your life… I will let you think for once, that you are in control of yourself, I will let you understand, you can't do anything against me... I will find so many ways, to torture you every day, I will make your nights a blight, so you'll never again feel right… I will stay in the darkness, forever in your madness, I will kill everyone you love, to let you fall with me… I will disappear one day, the one you really need me, I will show you how it feels, to be truly alone…

[Chorus] I never really trust in me But I want to be once happy So I will do all my possible To make my way Better today [Verse 1] I wake up with a headache My dream was so fake But it will not kill my mood 'Cause I want this day to be good [Verse 2] A ghost is next to me Bad things it wants to tell me But I will not listen It's not today the end [Verse 3] One day, I'll get out of this 'Cause I really want more than this I want to feel the good Before my life is done [Chorus] I never really trust in me But I want to be once happy So I will do all my possible To make my way Better today [Verse 4] My feet are made of stone And I must walk this path alone Each step is like a fight To walk into the light [Verse 5] My mind casts a long shadow It tries to steal my tomorrow But I'll keep my eyes ahead On every good things I said [Verse 6] A single ray of sun Tells me the day has just begun Maybe a little chance for me To finally be free [Chorus] I never really trust in me But I want to be once happy So I will do all my possible To make my way Better today [Verse 7] The road is long and steep And I have promises to keep The first one is for me To learn how to be [Verse 8] I hear your whispers now But I refuse to take a bow Your reign on me is over I'm looking for my clover [Verse 9] One day the scars will fade A brand new song will be made And I will sing it loud My head out of the cloud [Chorus] I never really trust in me But I want to be once happy So I will do all my possible To make my way Better today

So many things I'd want to say, Before my final breath gives way. The past may well have left its scars, But in the future lie our stars. I only wish for your happiness, Every single day, each hour. I only wish for our happiness, Every single day, each hour. I know that healing isn't easy, But it's the key to our tomorrow. So let us let the past just perish, And leave behind all of the sorrow. The fears, That wear us thin, I'll no longer let them in. The screams, Are now proscribed, I only want you by my side. I love you, To the edge of all infinity. No matter what the others think, It's not their wounds we have to dress. It is of us that I now think, It's with you I move on from this mess. So let the noise of yesterday, In silent nothing fade away. All I will ever need is your support, And I hope that you will need mine in sort. It's never too late, you see, To say you love somebody. It's never too late, you see, For the one you love truly. Only the present moment counts, And what we do right here, right now. So let's not let our fears become, A cage we can't escape somehow. Because for a future, bright and new, Which surely will be marvelous too, We have to learn to move ahead, And love each other instead.

Let the evil sound mount, In my heart, carve a wound. Let them build a wall, To help my mind to walk Let my whole being vibrate, So my starving body's state Can now writhe with pure pleasure, Through the coming measure. Let me be filled up With the power of the sound. Let this hellish crescendo Silence my mind's inferno. Each note is carrying me, They come to me ... Each note, a gift to me, They disappear ... The measures march on by, My ideas are piling up I turn up the sound, To calm my chaos mind. I feel the balance go, I think I've lost my mind. My soul wants to let go, But my body wants more. All my cells implode, My cage is this prose. The words and the notes now bind The wounds I left behind. The time just flies away, The fifths exhaust me and flay, But they never, ever Let me sink forever. Let me be filled up With the power of the sound. Let this hellish crescendo Silence my mind's inferno. Each note is carrying me, They come to me ... Each note, a gift to me, They disappear ... They disappear! This doomed tessitura, In the form of triplets... My lonely, shattered soul Is raped  ! Let me be filled up With the power of the sound. Let this hellish crescendo Silence my mind's inferno. Each note is carrying me, They come to me ... Each note, a gift to me, They disappear ...

How can we love, When the heart is just a haunt, For vicious thoughts, For a fevered, frantic taunt? I believe it's impossible, and yet, I know a brighter story can be met. How can we be loved, When a battered soul inside, Only wants to steal the life, From any soul we pass besides? I know it's impossible, and yet, I need that feeling I can't get. I sometimes wonder, If my only saving grace, Would be the awful choice, Of leaving time and space? The thought seems crystal clear, and yet, Wasting my time is a deep regret. Is there a solution, To not lay other lives to waste? Is there a way for this girl, For the good in her to be traced? I'm starting to lose all my faith, and yet, A part of me still hopes we've met. Love and hate are intertwined, They've become impossible to tell apart. And though I seem to be so kind, No one ever comes to know my heart. This madness rises up in me, and yet, I will not unleash it, not just yet. My heart is made of violence, My soul is ruled by reliance. While my mind is screaming vengeance, My body only craves independence. Nothing here makes sense to me, and yet, I keep on marching to the cadence.

I wanted to be a wonderfull song. Juste like the lullaby of your soul. For lull your heart like a fool. But my head still stay in the wrong. This is the last note on this part. My soul has gone for the end. Maybe all that goona miss you. But I think it's not really true ... If, just like you say, I'm not forgotten. I think our words come back again ... But for now, my mind is dead. But for ever you will live in my head. I really can't stay here longer, I don't want to die like the other. So never forget what I said. And dont become a Maid ... I think I already Know the power ... Of that word who can kill easier. And if we are so empty now ... That why our soul need to be together. In my mouth, forever is more better. Than all other words in the world ! And don't we say Never say never ? So you can't be forgotten that's all. I don't know if you really lost yourself. But I can't know if we can fix ourself. I just know why I have nothing to say. Enven if I really want to stay ...

This text is but a black hole, Of an incomprehensible grace. Like my own face within the glass, That pulls me to a desperate place. No single word exists, To illustrate this might. This feeling still persists, It never leaves my sight... Just wanting to understand, And hoping to feel whole again, I step right through the looking-glass, To see myself more plain. Everything's so beautiful here! This can't be reality... And yet, it's standing right before me, And it will not let me be. Stepping through this hole of glass, I walk into the great unknown. Is there a sign to guide my path? Or am I once again alone? I keep on walking down this road, Unsure of what the dawn will bring... Still searching for that certain feeling, Though my heart lies in everything... And on these highways of my mind, Where only sleepless nights I find, That slowly come to ruin my life, A life it's already stolen twice... Casting one final, backward glance, To the other side of the mirror. The time has come to mourn, perchance, This sad despair, and quell my terror... Inviting in the melancholy, Just like this haunting melody, To build a better life for me, Where my own heart can finally be... This void will always be right there, And happiness won't be enough... But still, this melody just smiles, And that alone will be enough...

Prenant un dernier souffle, il s'élança à nouveau. Il ne savait guère où il en était, encore moins où son combat aller le mener, mais il fallait en cet instant qu'il s'élance ! Corps perdu dans une bataille où personne ne gagne, une guerre frénétique peuplée d'hérétiques, une lutte infernale au cœur du mal. Qu'avait-il en tête pour s’entêter à foncer tête baisser dans le baiser d'une mort sans retour ! Qu'avait-il donc à prouver à trouver victoire sans gloire au sommet d'une montagne de chair ? Il n'avait guère les compétences ! Incompétent face aux cons pédants, seul confident d'une vérité branlante, torturé par le savoir de son histoire, aucun remède. Seul au seuil de la mort, il n'avait cure d'avoir tort ! Il avait tort d'avoir pu, un jour seulement goutté au sacrifice. Celui des chairs d'antan, des effluves du temps, de l'union tentante du fantasme meurtri de son utopie. Il était las d'être là, mais son œuvre mettait bas. Naissance d'une philosophie morbide qui n'avait que faire de son affaire, que faire de son passé, perdu en une triste réalité. Il voulait s’éveiller, s’émerveiller ! Recommencer sans fin la bataille, trouver toutes les failles et perdre enfin la mise pour qu'il s'en aille. Immuable son esprit toujours lutterait ! Passant de corps en corps, de tort en tort, idéologie nécrotique troublée d'un péché du passé, prenant le pas sur son corps, il avait tort d'y croire. Son salut n'en était guère un, le son la guerre gagnait du terrain, les corps jonchaient l'horizon, sa vision s’effondrait, il n'avait plus de choix, que celle de porter sa croix. Il fallait avancer avant ça, car sa croix n'était guère son choix. Il subissait, se brisait  S’esquinter à trinquer chaque victoire, chaque déboire, pour revoir le doux souffle de la mort. Piégé dans les ténèbres abstraites des traits de détresses, pris au cou par le stresse des lignes qui se tracent, du temps qui s'efface et des joies qui trépassent, il n'avait que cela pour se sentir vivant ! Sentir les lames traverser son corps, sentir le coup du destin lui prendre la main, sentir la douce voix éphémère des ailes venues le chercher. Aux sons des mélodies, sonnait son utopie, ubuesque sortie de secours, qu'il cherche en détours. Osons le jeu infini, sonnons la fin de sa vie ! Laissons-le crier au secours, qu'il cherche enfin son retour. Le retour à la vie, lavé d'un nouveau jour, un jour plus noir encore, que celui qui marqua le début de la guerre. Au son du diapason de sa trahison, les cors de guerre naguère auraient joué ! Mais il n'était plus enclin à clamer victoire. Guère plus à continuer de lutter pour ses idées, son idéal l'avait fui, tel l'animal apeuré, il se retrouva à nouveau seul. Seuls les sons de son cœur, de ses mœurs et morts étaient là, torturant son esprit au dépit de sa vie. Ses désirs font désordre ! Destructeur à son heure, son esprit, capharnaüm ordonné d'une idée malmenée, n'était plus en l'état d'être là. Perdu dans la dérision des visions, dans l'imagination une solution. Ce refuge qu'il refuse à l'idée de se lier, mais lié au lie qu'il voit tous les soirs au fond de son verre. Perdu dans ses pensées, il fuit la réalité, se détruisant, médisant, il savait qu'il devait arrêter ! Mais la vérité était dans cette réalité, qu'il ne pouvait accepter. Ainsi chaque jour reprenant vie et lames, oubliant lit et larmes, il se jetait à tort, à corps perdu dans le vacarme des armes. Il ne savait toujours guère ce qu'il y cherchait, mais il ne pouvait résister à l'envie d'y aller. Telle la mélancolie d'une mélodie, que l'on ne pourra jamais oublier, même en s'y efforçant jour après jour. Cet homme, perdu, lassé de tout, avait déjà bien vécu. Mais jamais il n'arrêtera de lutter pour son salut. Frappant et frappé, perdu et piégé, dans les méandres de son âme.